


Almost a Disaster

by fringeperson



Category: Neko no Ongaeshi | The Cat Returns
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/M, I had no idea what I was doing when I wrote this and I know better now, Old Fic, but I'm not going to deny its existance just because it's old and bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27447208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringeperson/pseuds/fringeperson
Summary: Haru's got herself all lined up for another marriage she doesn't exactly want, but at least he's human, right?~Originally posted in '08.
Relationships: Baron Humbert von Gikkingen/Yoshioka Haru, Hiromi/Tsuge (Neko no Ongaeshi)
Kudos: 11





	1. Bad Morning

**Author's Note:**

> I warn you again, this is Very Old Writing - and I haven't changed anything except a couple of typos.

What defines being sick? Fever? Coughing? Sneezing? Looking green? Being covered in itchy spots that really shouldn't be scratched at? Throwing up? Not being able to use the lavvy despite a burning desire to do so?

Haru listed all these horrible feelings and knew that, no, she wasn't sick. She just felt like she was growing slimy fur on the inside of her throat, stomach and skin. The shower had helped, so had a nice cold drink of juice, but she still felt like she number twos that wouldn't come, and she was certain that her tonsils were growing something covered in slime and fuzz.

She hadn't slept well the night before either. It had been too hot to stay beneath her covers, and just too cool that she didn't want to be without them either. Then the day had turned out to be cold and muggy. That shouldn't work, but it had. The air felt sticky and clingy and warm, but at the same time it was definitely chill out, not cold, but definitively un-warm.

Maybe it had something to do with the day before being really hot and her going to bed smelling – and feeling – sweaty.

Now, feeling like this, she was supposed to dress up and go to a wedding? She had two options. She could go despite feeling worse than she looked, keep smiling and pretend that nothing was the matter. After all, who knew? Maybe she'd feel better out of the house. Her other option was to stay home and feel sorry for herself, letting down her friends, when she had promised to be there.

Haru poured another glass of juice, brushed her teeth, and had another shower. She would go. Not going wasn't an option, not really. After all, she was maid of honour and second bride – her wedding was to be immediately after. There would be the first "I do's", a speech on the importance of fidelity and the sanctity of marriage, and then it was her turn to step up and say those two little words. Two little words that had a habit of changing people's lives.

Her husband-to-be was best man to the first groom, so they were both guaranteed to be there. Haru just wished that she could feel better for this, what was supposed to be the happiest day in her life.

Haru sighed and pulled on the elegant little number that was essentially her wedding dress. It was ever-so-slightly-off-white, a kind of milky, creamy colour rather than the white of snow.

She'd just got her shoes on – a pair of low heels that matched her dress, classic style, like the matriarchs of the thirties and forties, only she didn't have to worry about putting the heel down wrong and falling over in these. Haru sometimes lamented that she'd never gotten the hang of heels, but just now, she rushed to the door. The sound of a car horn out front summoned her and she went, despite feeling furry on the inside.

It was the car that was taking her to the salon, where her hair and face were going to be fiddled with by the professionals the first bride had hired for the occasion. Haru almost choked when she saw it though. It was a white Rolls! _The_ epitome of old-fashioned style and tasteful money.

"I'm going to have to work over-time to pay for these weddings," she sighed to herself, thinking of the bill. She had hoped that it would be cheaper, combining the two weddings, than having them separate, but it was still going to be pricey. She had a good income: she was a successful artist, earning easily what the weddings were going to cost and more, but she would have rather had a small wedding.

Haru relaxed into the Rolls anyway. It was her wedding day, she wore an elegant dress and she had a white Rolls at her disposal; everything was perfect, except the way the weather seemed to cling to her.

Sitting in the beautician's chair, with the air conditioning and the relaxing music, she started to feel better. If only they would stop insisting that she ought to let them put her hair up in some weird style: she had told them already, all she wanted was curls with a little something woven in for interest.


	2. Make-Up!

The door banged open, wind forcing the salon into near chaos. There had been a change in the weather, and Haru changed her mind too. She'd go for a tight bun, with maybe a rose bud sticking out of it prettily. To this, the beauticians were prepared to agree.

Not long after the wind had invaded, Hiromi burst into the little beauty parlour as well. She was late, she knew, but the zipper on her dress had caught. The blonde sighed with relief as she plopped herself down in the chair next to her best friend, and let the pros do what they did best.

Haru tucked a tiny smile into the corner of her mouth. It wasn't exactly a happy smile, more of a sad-memory smile. For the tenth time, the brunette studied the dress her blond friend had chosen to be married in.

It was the crisp white of snow made from silk, and bell-shaped at the bottom. A classic ball gown, complete with a corset built into the bodice and double sleeves. It was really just a white version of the dress Haru herself had once worn, only without the silly renaissance collar or heart-shaped bit that stood up at the back, and with a couple of extra silk roses.

Hiromi was marrying Tsuge, her high school sweetheart and boyfriend of five years. They really were in love, and were making a big deal out of the wedding. It made sense: it was a once-in-a-life-time thing, never to be repeated, it ought to be special.

Haru, on the other hand, was getting married to the boy next door. She'd known him pretty much all her life and had treated him with a sort of friendly indifference for most of it. After being left in a room a few times, they had figured out that they actually had some stuff in common, and he'd asked her out. She'd said sure before she even registered what she was doing.

It had gotten to the point where Haru was wondering if she ought to find a way to end the relationship – they didn't seem to have as much in common any more – when he had asked her to marry him. Haru's exact thoughts had been "Oh heck, why not?" when he popped the question, so she said yes. After all, he was a nice guy and he'd already bought the ring. It would have been unkind to break up with him then.

Haru suppressed a sigh as she climbed into the Rolls with Hiromi – it would have been pounced upon and misconstrued. Not helpful. While the chauffeur drove the brides to the church, Haru considered how everything had turned out.

Life as a cat verses life as a human. She'd had both options laid open to her, and now she thought that maybe she had made the wrong choice. Cats had a great life, doing whatever they wanted. They were fed, stroked, pampered, had their own kingdom – really, it was more like cats had people than the other way around. Humans, on the other hand, worked and tried to find meaning in their lives.


	3. Doubts?

"Hey Haru, are you okay? You look kind of pale," Hiromi said. They were a block away from the church.

"I'm fine, I just woke up feeling like the hairballs your grandma's cat leaves around her granny-flat," Haru answered, snapping out of her contemplations. "Can't cancel the wedding cause I felt woozy, anyway, I'm fine now."

Hiromi got out of the car first, then Haru. There was still some time before the ceremony began, they had time to fuss some more with the other girls and family and so on. Haru found a nice quiet corner to herself, with a slightly opened window, which was nice. The wind had died down and was now just a gentle breeze.

She didn't realise she had company until a gruff voice said, from the gap between windowsill and window-frame: "Hey Kiddo."

The young woman looked down sharply, surprised. It had been a long time, a very long time. She opened the window some more and let the feline fatso in. It was good to see him, and she said so.

"Hey Muta," she scratched gently behind his coloured ear, her hand covered in a lacy white glove – Hiromi had declared that everyone would wear them, producing a box full just fifteen minutes before. "It's good to see you, how've you been?"

"Bored, a little peckish," he answered. The scratching felt good. Haru did it just right, but then, she'd been part-cat herself once, for a while, she knew where it felt good.

"Cake isn't until _after_ ," Haru said, though she kept scratching. "I've really missed you Muta, but I wonder what brings you this particular church on my wedding day?"

"How's the program look? I mean, what? Priest talks about marriage a bit, asks the general populace if there's a problem with the coupling, and you say 'I do', that right?" he asked, not quite changing the subject, just avoiding the question.

Haru let it be. If Muta didn't want to answer her, he probably had a good reason.

"Hiromi's first, _then_ we get the sanctity of marriage speech, then mine after that, but you know what? I think you were right, all those years ago," she said, changing from scratching to stroking. She'd be covered in cat-hair by the time the bridal march began, but she didn't care. Everyone would be looking at Hiromi, and Muta's fur was about the same colour as her dress, so no one was going to really notice until after, when Muta would be hanging around scabbing cake left, right and centre.

"What was I right about?" he asked. He knew he was always right, but when someone said "you were right" in regards to a conversation years old, it was good to know what it was they had suddenly realised that he had always know.

"Being a cat's not so bad," Haru answered. "In fact, if I could just keep eating the same things as a cat as I do now, I'd happily make the switch, right now."

"What about your friends, and your hubby?" Muta enquired, pointing out what she would be missing if she did change right then.

Haru thought about that.


	4. Reviewing the Situation

"Alright, so while the priest is making the speech about marriage or something. I don't want to let down Hiromi and Tsuge, but my _hubby_ , well…" she petered out. Haru had been sarcastic with the word hubby, trying to make it clear that she didn't like the word.

"Gotten yourself into another marriage you're not interested in eh?" the fat cat said with a laugh. "Save this guy from a truck too?"

"He's been my neighbour forever, and he asked. He's nice enough so I said sure. I think I may have been a little high on Hiromi telling me that Tsuge had just proposed to her," Haru explained, once she'd gotten over the fit of giggles that had been induced by Muta's sense of humour.

"So if you don't want to marry this guy, any idea who you _would_ like to get hitched with?" he asked, a nasty little grin on his face, pleased with himself because Haru had laughed so easily at his joke. It had been a good one; he congratulated himself on picking it on such short notice.

"You'll think I'm being silly," Haru said, a dreamy caste in her brown eyes, a look as old as the stars and as bright, but brown instead of night-black. "But I think I'm still in love with Baron. It's all bit of a dead end, isn't it?"

Muta almost purred, but the organ started up just then, the first warning chords that told the girls to find their places in the procession about to head down the aisle.

Haru pulled a face. "I gotta go," she said. "I'll see you after?" asked the slightly reluctant bride of her darling fatso, who grunted, a smile on his face, as he leapt back out the window. "Alright then," she murmured, dreamy again. It would be nice to be able to just run off like that, but she had a bridal march to get to.

She ran for the procession line and took her place behind Hiromi just as the doors swung open, admitting the young women – and Hiromi's father – into the main part of the chapel. Haru's father had died a long time ago, so she wasn't being given away, but then, she wasn't going to make her own march down the aisle either. She was just going to take a couple of steps and be in front of the altar just before the whole thing was over.

The ceremony was smooth, neat, lovely; Hiromi and Tsuge were married without so much as someone coughing when the priest asked if anyone knew of any reason why they shouldn't be together. The "I do's" were said, and the kiss was probably very nice, certainly they looked like they were enjoying it, but Haru had never been very good at watching people kiss. It made her uncomfortable.

Haru was glad when Hiromi and Tsuge and signed the marriage register and the priest began his speech on "what marriage really was". Haru found herself listening intently as he spoke. She hadn't expected to, she had expected a dry sermon that was boring, what she got was a few important lessons. It was all stuff she knew at some level, but it was like arriving home to a surprise birthday party. She paid more attention, simply because she had never really thought about it beyond "yes, I know this".

Something else happened too: Haru realised that, even if there were no objections to her getting married from the guests, she'd find herself saying, "I don't" when everyone expected her to say "I do".


	5. Put it in Reverse!

A door creaked far behind her, but she paid it no attention, she was suffering from a minor epiphany, a moment where everything just made sense. She couldn't marry the man waiting on the pew across the aisle from her, but when she was called to stand, she did.

"Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? To have and to hold her, love her and comfort her, for better or worse, richer or poorer, so long as you both shall live?" the priest asked, looking at the man who stood by her side.

"I do," he answered.

"Is there anyone here who knows a reason why these two should not be joined in the legal and loving bond that is marriage?" the old man cried out over the people.

"Yeah, you haven't asked me yet," Haru said, hands on her hips. "And you were supposed to do that _before_ the I do's anyway," she muttered to herself.

"Oh, sorry," said the priest, blushing foolishly. "Do you take this man –"

"Stop! I know a reason why they should not be married," a voice echoed out from the back of the chapel.

Haru gasped, she knew that voice, she knew exactly who that voice belonged to, but she had no idea how she was going to turn around and see him, she didn't even know if she could stay upright much longer.

"How dare you!" cried the groom, indignant. "Who are you?" He had turned, and was searching the rear of the church for the one who was interrupting his wedding.

"I am King Lune," said the voice, clearly, it's owner still nowhere to be seen.

Haru felt fur brush against her ankle and managed to look down. It was Muta.

"Go along with his highness, we've got your 'dead end' sorted out," he said with a wink. Then he scuttled off again, probably to invade the kitchen.

"Uh-huh," Haru said quietly, a shocked smile on her face as she watched him go. She had the strength to turn around now, so turn around she did. What she saw surprised her.

It could only have been Lune; one eye red, the other blue, and that was the uniform he had been wearing when he proposed to Yuki, although now, the fine white coat was accompanied by a pair of pants the colour of Lune's fur. It was a good thing too, because Lune appeared to be human, and a human going around without pants on _will_ cause a stir.

The king walked down the aisle towards Haru, her groom, and the priest. Haru bent in a curtsy, a smile obvious on her face when she rose again. She was happy to see him, though she worried about his being human.

"Haru, my dear cousin," he said, taking her hands in his and bowing over them.

"Y-you say you know a, a reason why these two should not be married?" queried the priest, nervous before someone who declared that they were royalty, and looked it. There was even a small crown on his head.

"Oh yes; Haru does not love the groom, and further more –" Lune said, interrupting himself to catch the fist of the groom as it sailed towards Haru. "He would make a very bad husband for my favourite cousin." Lune's hand was tight around the groom's wrist, holding the fist hostage; the Cat King looked the man in the eye.

Mismatched eyes staring straight into your soul is disquieting. The young man turned to make a run for it, and Lune let him go.


	6. Repaying Her Kindness

  
  


"Haru, if you didn't love him, why did you agree to marry him?" Hiromi asked, shocked and confused by what had just happened.

Haru didn't really know what to say, but it didn't matter, because Lune answered: "Because she didn't think that the man she _did_ love would ever ask her." There was a smile on his face that was still quite feline as he tucked Haru's hand into the crook of his elbow and started to guide her once more down the aisle and out the doors of the chapel.

Outside the church, Lune returned to his usual cat shape.

"That was the strangest feeling," he said, managing to land in Haru's arms rather than on the ground by her feet. "I'm glad the spell lasted long enough, it would have been embarrassing to turn into myself again while I was holding that idiot's fist."

"Two questions, if you please Sire," Haru said, pausing on the front step of the grand old building, looking at the king in her arms.

"Of course Miss Haru," Lune said. "And don't worry about being formal, all cats are royalty in the world of Humans." He was clearly joking about all cats being royalty, and Haru smiled – she had personally suspected much the same thing. "Besides, you saved my life, remember? At ease, please."

"Alright, question one: where to now?"

"Follow that fatso," Lune said, pointing out Muta with his paw.

The fat cat was sitting by the base of a street light, waiting for them. When he realised that they were watching him, he headed off, his large body plodding along with surprising speed down the street.

Haru smiled and followed him, hoping that he hadn't heard the fatso comment and lead her through another labyrinth of back alleys and the non-existent scurry-ways that somehow existed between houses.

"Question two," she said, trying to not notice the stares she was getting for walking around town in a bridal gown carrying a cat and apparently talking to herself. "How did you become human?"

"A spell, temporary and satisfactory. There is another, far more complicated spell waiting for you when we get to where we're going," answered the king, holding his crown to his head now as Haru picked up her pace, trying not to loose Muta in the crowds of people who were out shopping.

Haru thought about that. The spells of the Cat Kingdom were quite impressive; she knew that from personal experience. Turning a person into a cat was no trouble at all: just bring them into the kingdom and make them feel at home. Turning Lune into a person for a little while was also apparently quite easy. It would have done her no good to use that spell though, since it only lasted a very short time, and she had, at the time, wanted her humanity back for keeps.

So, what could the complicated spell be for? Her, yes, she got that part of the memo, but what would the spell do? It couldn't be for turning her into a cat; if that was all her cat friends were planning, surely they'd just take her to their kingdom?

Muta turned into a scrap of space that didn't deserve to be called a back alley, and Haru almost groaned, but she recognised it. It was the little bit of nowhere that led to the Cat Bureau.

"Miss Haru, wait," Lune said from her arms. "I'd like to walk in myself, if you don't mind, and you might want to brush the dust off your lovely dress," he added, leaping down from Haru's arms.

Checking herself, Haru found that, while there was nearly no cat hair on her, just a little of Muta's on the lace glove that she had been scratching and petting him with. Haru carefully removed the lacy gloves and picked out the cat hairs, then checked her hem and shoes for dust from the street. There wasn't much, and it didn't take long to bush it off.

Haru hadn't realised she was still carrying her bouquet, she had been too intent on Lune and Muta to think of much else, and just hadn't dropped the bunch of flowers through some strange luck, or maybe Lune had held onto them while she ran, she wasn't sure. Anyway, she checked to make sure that the flowers were still pretty too. They were.

Haru slipped her gloves back on and took a deep breath. She walked down the little nothing of a back alley like it was the aisle in the church, without even meaning to. Haru could see everyone waiting for her in the courtyard of the refuge – Toto, Muta, Lune, and Yuki, even Natoru… and Baron.


	7. Here Comes the Bride

She could feel her eyes stinging, but she wouldn't cry, she couldn't cry now, not when everything felt properly right. As she stepped through the archway into the refuge, Haru felt the world stretch, but the sensation only lasted a second, and then she was in the courtyard. Something had definitely changed, and Haru was certain that it was her.

It was rather obvious; she no longer towered over the cats – and crow – in the courtyard. Instead, she was the same approximate height. She could feel a tail, hers, brushing against the back of her dress, and she was almost certain that her ears were on top of her head again.

Baron came to meet her just before she reached their congregated friends.

"Haru, will you marry me?" he asked, taking her hands – yes, they were still hands – in his.

"Can I?" she asked, like a child who has been asked if they would like to push the starter button on a chocolate machine. She was now quite unable to stop the tears of happiness that wetted the fur on her face.

Baron smiled, his emerald eyes soft and full of that same emotion that spilled out of Haru's amber ones. The gentleman cat slipped his partner's hand into the crook of his arm, just as Lune had done earlier, saving her from yet another imprudent marriage. The Cat King performed the ceremony.

"Baron Humbert von Gikkingken, I would like you to meet your wife, Baroness Haru von Gikkingken," Lune finished, a smile on his face as Yuki came to stand beside him. The royal couple, happy that they had brought their friends together at last.

"You may now kiss," Yuki said, teasingly, after the newly weds just stared at each other for a while, smiling but unmoving.

Haru threw her arms around Baron's neck and planted her mouth firmly upon his.

He staggered a moment, a bit surprised by the immediacy and force of Haru's actions, but the kiss was warm and pleasant, and he wrapped his arms around his wife, indulging in feelings he had never felt before – the feeling of her.

She didn't want to break the kiss, but she had to throw the bouquet, and she had to take a breath, a proper one – letting out the air in her lungs and replacing it with new. Haru loosened the desperate loving hold that she had on her husband, and he let go slightly, the subconscious filling in the movement without anyone needing to think about it.

Haru noticed that Muta and Toto were fighting again, so she threw the bunch of roses in their direction. She stifled laughter when they bounced off both Toto's and Muta's heads and Natoru rushed in to catch them. Baron didn't, and Haru looked up at him in surprise. She hadn't heard him laugh before, he had made fun a little, and his smile was always nice, but his laugh… It was deep and hearty, a good laugh. Haru slipped her arms around his chest and felt his laughter stop, it wasn't abrupt – he'd just run out of breath.

"I love you, my Haru," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

She smiled and snuggled closer to him.


End file.
